Why do the real miracles shine briefly ?

26.04.2005; 06:42 p.m; BG:Pussycatdolls - Tainted Love *live*
I just made a list of the things I want to get :

*Honey* ~ DVD~
*Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights* ~DVD~
*Coyote Ugly* ~DVD~
*Street Style* ~DVD~
*Center Stage* ~DVD~

I order the first 4 of them tomorrow or on thursday, no matter what. As you see I'm really into dancing right now. Well, dancing is one of secret passions and I really wonder if I shouldn't join a dancing group after my graduation. YOu know, a dancing group, that actually learns choreopraphies or a Salsa-course. Gosh, I gotta have to do that.
Haha, I'm always very proud when I do my daily workouts from about 1h 30mins and than, when I see and hear how others train over 7hours daily, I just think I would die....
I highly doubt I would be capable of this.

24.04.2005; 08:21 p.m; BG:Pussycatdolls - Sway
Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek

So tell me what you think. I'm dieing to find out ^_~

13.04.2005; 08:21 p.m; BG:Sarah Connor - Skin on Skin
I really blog less and lesser these days. But the fact is, that I'm stressed out so much. Not only by school but by my personal life also. I mean, I have to study math every day for hours, because I just can't allow me to fail the exam. It's really important for me. But I will get it. And than there are my workouts. I really have to do them, that's the only fun thing left right now. Oh call me crazy, but I love sports :3.
Today's morning Erik stand in front of my door. I was so shocked because I didn't expected him to come. Mr. Big Stuff wanted to drive with me to school. I was fine with it and he was in such a good mood. I couldn't even believe it ~ made me sick XD. Nope, that was a joke. We fooled around and talked about various stuff.
I mailed Marc, so that he can come to my place soon, since he's graduating now he's so busy. Anyway, I got an empty mail back but I'm sure we gonna meet up on the weekend. Maria and me walked home today and she came here so that we could talk a bit. It's been so long since I had a gathering with my home girls, who would be Maria, Christin, Kristin, Franzi, Alex, Denise and Loreen. But oh well...other things have priority now. I wanna do my best and be the best...I will do everything for it.
I'm very glad that things with Wisi turned out to be alright. She's so important to me and I didn't mean to bring her down or to hurt her with my stepping back all of sudden. I think I never did anything in hurting her verbally...gosh, never ever. But I dunno...I just kept quiet about things and built a wall around, which hurted her. I'm really sorry for this but we worked it out eventually.
When I read my back entries I really had to giggle about myself...Well, the thing about Jewel Boy *lol*. I really really felt lonely back than because after all I think it was a good decision that I pushed him back. He's a nice guy and good looking but there wasn't a chemistry between the both of us and actually I don't want to get in a relationship before I leave Germany...not that anyone is interested anyway *laughs*....well some perverts maybe...
I really hate that. Marc once told me that the nice guys are to timid to approach me and the perverts do it because I have a kinda cute/innocent look in my eyes, which let them feel like they could fool around with me or whatever...Not fair. XD
Even James said that *ahrg*...This playboy ^_~ But I still love him *haha*...But everytime when we talk I feel like..."hehe..that's the playbopy in him". If you read this, it's nothing negative though ^^ You are just to damn charming to be mad at you :P

08.04.2005; 11:03 p.m; BG:Mariah Carey - Butterfly
Yeah~ I love Mariah Carey. She's really great no matter what others think :P
Had a good day and actually good week...I didn't expected this to happen. I get really tired now...and think I will sleep now *szzzz*
Shit...I already forgot what I actually wanted to write....I'm stupid...Oh well, my presentation was moved, so I have about 14 days for preparations. I was so glad and now I really want to do that thing. How my mind changed so out of sudden *haha*
Eric is a dumbass...Really...He's like MR. BIG STUFF, I hate that. He's nice to me but somehow bugs me....lol...foolish guy.XD
Had a great talk with James...I rarely give away my emotions like that. I mean it's already 5 months back since we met but still... I think he's really special...lol...I always wanted to meet a playboy, who's really sentimental and caring if you look close *^^*...just like a movie or Manga ^^. Oh well, I'm into romantic stuff. Can't get cheesy enough for me :P

02.04.2005; 10:31 p.m; BG:Mariah Carey - Hero
Oh my, I have so so much to do for school. And I didn't even start yet. I have to prepare a presentation til next week, friday. I hate that. The topic is so boring....I really, really don't want to do this and I don't have any motivation. But I have to do it tomorrow....But before I have to talk to my teacher about it... I think this upcoming weeks will become CRAP...I know it....Much of stress in school and with my parents...I smell it.
I'm afraid Y_Y....Help me...please.
Hmmm...I'm going to bed now~Take care.

02.04.2005; 10:31 p.m; BG:Coco Lee - Touch
Bidding time ^^: 3,2,1...MINE !!!

Yeah !!!!!!!! I got this :3. Can't wait til it gets warm, so I can wear it. Fits perfectly ^^.

02.04.2005; 09:21 p.m; BG: ECHO 2005 [TV]
Yeah, finally a new layout featuring Jade from Sweetbox (again) ^^. I just like her so much :)
Right now, I'm a bit tired but whatever I really wanna watch ECHO 2005 now. It's the most popular award after the Grammies, which is a German production *proud*. It's live and Anastasia is on stage just now. She's so so tiny. I can't wait to be back in college soon.
I have a lot of stuff to prepare but actually I'm waiting for a challange and I have so much to do and to fullfill. It's my own private challange to see what I am capable of and I know I can do it.
Tomo is so so cool. ^^ I'm happy to be able to talk to her, we are so much alike. You rock, girl !!! I can't wait to go to the USA next year. I'm going to be an au pair and I just can't wait anymore to see the world. After that I'm coming back to study japanese and american history in university. I really have to get school working, because Math is a big big trouble maker for me. I hate it, I don't get it...I hate my teacher, she hates me....I'm good in the other subjects but math just won't get any better. p>
|

26.03.2005; 1o:28 p.m; BG: Jhett aKa Yakko for Aquarius - Do or Die feat Namie Amuro
Just want to let you guys know that I'm addicted to Jhett's first album. It's awesome and blew me away.
Can't wait to get my own copy ^__^.
My favourit tracks are: Do or Die feat. Namie Amuro; Oh Boy feat. Heartsdales; Just Go feat. Kumi Koda; Heart Breaker feat. Rinko Urashima; Get Out feat Yuki (Yellow Generation) and Uh...Uh feat Ai (Suit Chic).
I knew the real version of Uh...Uh from Suit Chic (Namie + Ai) already and I can't really sense any differences but it's also a long time since I heard the real version. I just know I love it.
Got so much money to eastern. I don't know if eastern is celebrated outside Germany *no clue*, but we get a week off and childrens get gifts.
Parents hide the gifts and the kiddies have to seek them. Years back you only got sweets and stuff...but now toys and money also. I always go for the money. With this, I will have my nails done next week. Can't wait to take pics of them afterwards. But Franzi still has my webcam software and I haven't it installed anymore. So I just hope she don't forget to bring it to school. She also still has my only issue of my VIVi magazine, which I kinda thread like a treasure. *lol*
Wished I had more japanese fashion magazines *sighs*.

I had an argument with my dad. He got so mad about nothing. I just don'twant to go to my parents friends gathering and I won't. He was so mad. But I didn't really care. An hour later he came to me and apologized and said it's ok. Gosh, so much mess about nothing >_<
Parents are alot of trouble.
Watched Robots in cinema, actually my fellows and me wanted to see Miss Undercover 2, but tickets were already gone, which was so sad, because I just loved the first part and waited so long to see the sequell. Anyway, gonna see it another day. Robots was ok, not thaaaaaaaaat good, but worth watching. Didn't feel like I payed money for nothing or anything like that.

19.03.2005; 11:28 a.m; BG: Jhett aKa Yakko for Aquarius - Just Go feat Kumi Koda
Actually I should be cleaning the house right now. But took a short break. These days I'm really busy with studying. And I hate it so much.
When I was jounger -> junior high I always learned for everything, but I cut it down and now I really have problems to learn everything again. That sucks. I haven't had time for doing my sports but from tomorrow on, I will take some quality time, I think I would die now, if I would continue like this. SO I make some time, if I actually don't have it.
Had really weird dreams of Marc. I dreamed he was my boyfriend and that we wanted to do a roadtrip on his motorbike and I was so freaked out of his motorbike, while riding it. I dislike motorbikes <_<. I rode on the one of my cousin, who took me. Ahrg, I was glad being off it again that time. *lol*
Anyway in the dream, an ex of Marc appeared asking him if he would enjoy sex on a wheel. And I said something like:"NO. We did it already. That's enough."
I'm so kinky *lol*. No I'm not...just my dreams. Alright I will continue to clean the house now.

18.03.2005; 10:13 p.m; BG: Coco Lee - No Doubt/
Ahw~ I'm so tired. Can't wait to fall in my bed with my thousand pillows. *hehe*
Today was pretty neat. Went to school, had some free periods, which I used to go shopping and to settle my next session at the nail salon, which will be on 4th April. Can't wait to have my nails done. I really like this.
It's so stylish and cute. I always tend to look at the nails of people, when I talk to them, so that I can find out if they take care of themselves. Hands are the visiting card of ppls. My grandma tend to say this. She always said that to me, when I was little and outside to play in the mudd. I always was kind of adventurous. That was really cool. I always like to look back to this.
I really, really regret to not went into a relationship with Jewel Boy, these days I have to think so much of him.
I'm so stupid. He is nice, handsome, joking, caring and a good boy, who looks awesome in his suit...I'm so stupid.
Now we lost kind of contact. Y_Y
I think he even has a girlfriend now. Shit. Haha, maybe our paths will meet again :). I'm gonna think positve from now on.
I hate to be surrounded by ppl, who feel sorry for themselves or only think negative. I once was like that also, but I changed so much in this issue.
Oh there is a new member at the Affection forum, who saw my pictures and asked me if I want to be his girlfriend. So weird. *lol* What is he thinking. And he's 3 years younger than me *tsss* Never Ever.
Beside that: Online relationships suck. XD.
Ok, I'm off now.

16.03.2005; 09:27 p.m; BG: Gwen Stefani - Rich Girl [feat. Eve]/
Now today I was critizised....And actually I was proud of it *lol*. Well the deal is, that some ppl think I'm way to grown up. It's not like I'm trying hard to act mature with all forces ~ hell no.
I never would fake anything. I couldn't stand this, but the thing is that I always was running in front of all persons in my age when it comes to matureness. All my friends are older than me.
Telling the truth my first boyfriend was 11 years older than me. Ok that was so pervert. I know ~ I know. But we kinda clicked. But it didn't last long. A month and then I broke up because I thought that was just too much XD. But my other friends are about 19~23 years old.
We know how to have fun, that's for sure but it's not all about that. I can talk serious to them too. I can't go out partying all the time. I need my own time also. I think without that I couldn't survive. This month I'm totally burned out money-wise...I won't be able to have my nails done or to buy any mags...too many birthdays.
Luckily only my brother has his birthday in April, so I can save some money until I spend it again XD.
Ahw~ I love Gwen's new song. Can't stop listening to it.
I love buying presents for friends. It always makes me happy, when I see them happy. ^^
Ok, I don't buy gifts often but I would like to do it more often if possible.
Had my exams today, went pretty well. Hope I scored high points. We will see ^___^

11.03.2005; 06:23 a.m; BG: *nothing*/
Ok, short blog before going to school. My parents are away, I'm alone and I feel preety good about it. Some quality time *lol*
Well, I love my parents but sometimes they bug me, so it's good we have some distance for a while.
Maria loved my presents so I'm very glad. Couldn't turn out even better ^^v. I even made cookies for her. I never did this before -> there goes my sparetime. Got an SMS from Linh, he wants to tell me something, which can't be said in a SMS. Now I really wonder what it is all about. I'm always so currious.
I think if today Shadow Hearts won't arrive I'm going to die. I want to play it now X_X
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02.03.2005; 07:37 p.m; BG: Koda Kumi - Just go/
Just had an argument with my dad. Gosh, I hate him sometimes. He always behaves like he would be a saint. And he's not. Of course I got furious. I think he already forget how to live in my world. I really can't wait to move out.
I'm just angry right now. I'm so glad he's going with my mother to Berlin til sunday. So I will be alone at home. Tomorrow is Maria's birthday. Can't wait to give her her present. Hope she will like it. But I'm pretty sure she's going to like it.
On saturday is her party and before I'm going to my hair dresser. I already know how I want it. I will take some pics afer. *hehe*
Tomorrow will be stressfull in school, sames as friday. BUt I will survive the last 2 days of the week also.

02.03.2005; 07:10 p.m; BG: FINAL FANTASY VIII - Eyes on me [Piano Collection] /
I'm totaly scared off by this one guy from our village. He is at least 45 years old, doesn't have a job [he brings the newspapers at the morning], is really ugly and disgusting because he doesn't wash hisself. The deal about him is, that he's stalking me.
I mean everytime I see him in the morning he begins speaking to me like "Hello little Miss Herzog. You look really pretty today and be carefull when you are alone. Is your dad driving this little princess to school today?". Really everytime I see him. When my mom was in a supermarket, he was there too and he shouted through the whole market, how pretty I am and how I grew up. I even hide for him now. There's just something wicked about him. Today I saw him too, but I hided behind our house. Luckily he didn't see me. But when I went in again, he suddenly stand behind our door and I got super freaked out. Well, he made this loud moaning sounds, which was just scary and I didn't look at him and went in. He stand over 5 minutes before our housedoor but went off. I'm really scared of him. But what shall I do ??? There's nothing I can do.
Maria is really happy with her new boyfriend. I was really happy for her, but for me...I'm in love...a love, which won't come true anyway, so it makes me sad also.
I even cried. Gosh, I'm so pathetic these days. I rarely can handle myself. I'm sad. Oh well, but I would rather die than saying anything. That's just me.
But I know there will be better times.

02.03.2005; 07:10 p.m; BG: Sweetbox - Crown of thorns /
Had a funny conversation with our headmaster. Well not really funny, but it amused me a bit.
I went to the black board where all our missing lessons are listed and this wendsday the last two hours didn't took place, which was listed also. And our converation was as followed:
Me:"Coolness Bilology and German won't take place"
[Suddenly the headmaster appeared behind my back]
Headmaster:"Well, only for the final course of Mrs. Geisler"
Me: Sure, that's my course. Fine, only 4 hours *hehe*
Headmaster: Now you are smilling miss, aren't you ?
[looks at me friendly]
Headmaster: But you are here to learn not to get off earlier
[he said that more concern now]
Me: Oh, I do learn. In English and Art today.
[Looking at him with a smile]
[he smiles back at me]
[I went off]
That was really funny. LOL

Still need a b-day gift for Maria. It's hard to find a present for your best friends for 11 years already.
I feel like I already bought her everything *lol*
Don't want to have just a plain present. I want to have something with a meaning. Well,let's see.
I'm so tired now. I should go to bed soon. *szzzzzzzzz*
I really don't have a life anymore. I'm only studying. I'm so dieing to go out with my friends again. I miss it. But I also will survive from it.
Robert has a new girlfriend. Since she's only a kid many make fun out of him. When I saw them together, he was like "please don't say anything negative" and of course I didn't. It's his life after all and I don't like him at all. Honestly, they match. Both look like 14 year-old childrens.....
I'm only 18, but all people, who know me guessed I would be 20. So that's fine with me.
When I come to think of it, most of my friends are older than me....or at least the same age.
It sounds maybe a bit ignorant but I don't like to have younger friends. Though I come along with all kind of persons.

02.03.2005; 07:10 p.m; BG: Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers /
Today was pretty neat. I had only 4 periods: 2 lessons Art and 2 lessons English.
Well I could have stayed home actually. But whatever.
Went shopping with my mom, got 2 jeans and 2 pullovers and some cute lingerie. I'm loving it.
Gotta have to wake up 05.30 a.m everyday from now. I think it will kill me. I will write a physic exam tomorrow and don't know anything. But I don't really care because I only took this subject in order to fill out my curriculum.
Bah~ I'm so dead. Will go to bed soon. I basicly have no life anymore. I harldy meet any friends with all that learning crap. Eric phoned me and we went together to school. He was really funny.
This weekend I will go out with some friends of mine. I just hope Robert will stay away. I hate him to death. He's like those tiny so-called dogs, which bite in your knees and won't let go anymore.

28.02.2005; 7:59 p.m; BG: /
OH JESUS: AP
Man Accused of Having Relations With Cows

Sat Feb 26, 6:09 PM ET

NEILLSVILLE, Wis. - A 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves.

Harold G. Hart, of Neillsville, allegedly told police that he routinely stopped at a Greenwood farm, usually after bar closing or on trips to strip clubs near Marshfield or Neillsville.
A criminal complaint filed in Clark County Circuit Court said the farm's owners installed a motion detector on Jan. 22 after regularly seeing footprints and vehicle tracks on their land. Around 4 a.m. the next morning, a sensor sounded and Hart was caught leaving the barn, but Hart allegedly said he just used a bathroom in the barn and had never been there before.
Hart told police he had sex with heifers before he went into the service in 1963 and resumed about a year ago at the farm. He admitted to using a rope to tie calves around the neck and estimated he had been to the farm "at least 50 times," according to the complaint.
He told police he never had sex with animals while maintaining a relationship with his a girlfriend or his wife, the complaint said.
Hart also is charged with disorderly conduct and two counts of obstructing an officer. Each charge carries up to nine months in jail.
Hart is scheduled to appear in court March 10.
___

Information from: Marshfield News-Herald, http://www.marshfieldnewsherald.com

28.02.2005; 7:59 p.m; BG: Sweetbox - Everything's gonna be alright ~Reborn~
You'll know when its love or infatuation....

Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands
calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root
and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity.
You are excited and eager, but not genuinely
happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered
questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved
that you would just as soon not examine too
closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature
acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you
strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your
beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even
when they are away. Miles do not separate you.
You have so many wonderful little films in your
head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you
know they are yours, and you can wait.
Infatuation says, "We must get married right away.
I can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your
future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement.
Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in
intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of
friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter.
You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away,
you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you
check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and
unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes
them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will
regret, but love never steers you in the wrong
direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It
completes the circle. It fills the empty space in
your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It
makes you look up. It makes you think up. It
makes you a better person than you were before. If
you have love in your life, it can make up for a
great many things you don't have. If there is no
love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot
less meaning.

The secret of our being is not only to live but to
have something to live for

26.02.2005; 7:39 p.m; BG: JHETT akka YHAKKO for Aquarius feat. Koda Kumi - Just Go
Went to Walmart with Maria. Needed new make up. As we arrived there we saw this huge pyramide out of Kinder Uberraschung. It's a German sweeet. Translated into English it would be called "Childrens Surprise". It's a egg out of white and normal milk chocolate and in its inside are toys. It's really popular here. Well, I know it since my early childhood. I got my first with the age of 1 1/2 ^^.

The best toys are figures. They are so cute~ There were even Lord of the rings figures in it, everytime a new part run in cinemas. And well as Maria and I saw those eggs again, we were so nostalgic and thought we should buy one for each other. So we did. But of course we wanted to have a figure and there is this trick to shake them and you can hear, which one will contain a toy figure. Well, it doesn't always work out. But you can try. And so we stood there taking all eggs and shook them, holding them on our ears. At that time a group of japanese people went down with the rolestairs looking and pointing at us and suddenly they took out their digicams and made pics of us. We were like : O_O We smiled at them and so they were smirking even more and waved at us. We waved back and they took more pics. Lol. That was really funny. We had to laugh so much. A bit embarrasing too. But it was worth it. Haha.